Halloween's creeping (excuse the pun) up fast and our boys like nothing more than an autumnal evening in front of the TV with the curtains closed, a bowl of popcorn and their favourite Halloween horror movies. We're not afraid of a 12A, by the way (don't judge) - the gorier, the better! Our favourite horror movie baddy?? Mrs Trunchbull!! #EATIT
Here, we share our #top10 Halloween family horror movies!
10. Paranorman
Paranorman throws in some excellent horror clichés and the stop-motion animation is mindblowing. If you haven't seen it, Google 'the making of Paranorman' and be amazed. The scene where the corpse lands on Norman and its tongue rolls out onto his cheek is proper disgusting. 🤢
9. Ghostbusters II
We're not talking about last year's crappy remake, we're here for the actual Ghostbusters. The first one was good, the second one was amazing. How horrible is the painting ghost bloke? Note to self: must try to recreate the eggs popping in Sigourney Weaver's kitchen scene at home.
8. Gremlins
Adult horror from the 80s turned family Christmas movie - isn't it bizarre how the 80s definition of really scary is now an afternoon TV regular?
We still howl with laughter at the old lady as she whizzes up the stairs and out the window on her Stanna stairlift. 🤣 Also there is an uncanny similarity between Gremlins and Lyall and Rich if we let them stay up late and feed them after midnight.
7. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
We must have seen Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade at least 100 times. The special effects are excellent, in particular the boys love it when the baddy turns into a skeleton with old lady hair at the end. "Pick the ugly clay cup Indi!!" we all shout. Plus Daddy has a massive crush on young Indiana.
6. The Meg
Controversial, eh? Also known as 'Crap Jaws', we LOVE The Meg. I mean, all the best horror movies are crap, that's the best thing about them. The synopsis is basically (spoiler alert): deep water, tiny submarine, ENORMOUS shark, beach full of american people, head bitten off, repeat. I'm scared of open water and the dark (but not sharks, bizarrely) so this was two hours of pure dread for me, but the boys loved every minute. Also Ruby Rose is super cool.
5. The Addams Family
Christopher Lloyd is the best actor ever and 100% made for Uncle Fester. Who, incidentally looks exactly like Daddy after a night out. The boys love The Addams Family (and the sequel), in particular the bit where Uncle Fester sinks into the spare bed.
4. Death Becomes Her
Even though it's only a PG, when the boys watch Death Becomes Her they feel as though we're letting them watch a proper grown-up horror movie. On the surface it's a hilarious, scary, stylish 80s revenge flick. But, the overriding theme of greed and vanity is actually quite deep when you think about it. Would you take the potion? (Daddy - yes immediately)
3. The Witches
Ooo... the top 3! The Witches is magic. It's by miles the best Roald Dahl penned movie, isn't it? (Sorry Mrs Trunchbull). My friend Parters once pointed out that half the witches in the conference room in the hotel are bald men, which is now very difficult to unsee when we're watching it as adults. Have a look! They're men! Can you imagine how hilarious it must have been for the actors?! Favourite part? The bit when the nice witch puts the mouse ointment on her neck and it goes all furry! EWWW!
2. Monster House
Battling it out for the top spot, Monster House is possibly the most brilliant, underrated animated horror movie of all time. Pinching several horror clichés from Poltergeist (probably our #11 horror movie), Monster House provides scares, jumps and a prevailing theme of isolation (getting quite deep again there) and it's arguably better than most proper adult horror movies. The finale in the quarry when the kids destroy the house monster is intense! We LOVE Monster House.
1. Hocus Pocus
What do you get when you cross two of the best actresses on the planet (sorry SJP), a puppet black cat, a black candle and a 'little leager'? The best family horror movie (nay family movie) of all time. Highlights? OMG there are so many. The bit where they push SJP onto the road, thinking it's a river of tar, the part where they sing I Put a Spell on You in the disco, the poor zombie's head being whacked off by a branch of a tree - it's all excellent. Please don't remake it for crappy TV, Disney - we just want the original on every night instead, please!
